Stop Living a Fake Life (How to be Authentic)

The world is fake.

  • Filtered Instagram selfies.
  • Pretending to be happy at work.
  • Saying you’re ‘alright’ when you’re not.
  • Food that is manufactured in a lab.

Authenticity has never been harder to find.

Most people are not doing this in a negative way.

They are fake because they care too much about what other people think.

I am speaking from experience. Because I have been stuck in this situation before.

The opinions of others guided my decision-making.

And this led to fake behaviour.

I was always built for travel and entrepreneurship.

I am very free-spirited. I am a deep thinker.

And making an impact on the world is important to me.

But the social circle I lived in was the opposite.

My local community was built on working 9-5.

And material possessions were the yardstick for success.

I crammed myself into a 9-5 I hated. That paid well and made everyone congratulate me.

I bought a house. Had nice clothes – no financial worries.

And I told everyone that life was great. Because I was being fake.

But in reality, I was watching the clock every day. Counting down until home time.

I was very bored. I was working in engineering but that’s not my passion.

I felt like I was making no impact on the world. And knew I was wasting my precious time.

I used alcohol to remedy the boredom. And started drinking at home on my own.

But I told everyone I was fine. Clearly I was not.

I was living a life that is misaligned with my values. And I was not being my authentic self.

I was being what everyone else wanted me to be.

But that was not working for me.

Living a fake life led me into a spiral of frustration and anxiety.

I could not understand why I was not happy. Even though everyone told me I should be.

This problem had to be resolved. Otherwise my life was going to pass me by.

This is a problem that impacts the lives of millions.

Fitting yourself into society’s expectations causes a lifetime of regret.

Do you resonate with this?

Doing a job you are not passionate about – only for money. Which you then spend on clothes, cars and holidays that make you look ‘successful’.

Then telling everyone life is great. When in reality you are not fulfilled.

That was my life. And I know its the same for countless others.

This is not success in my eyes. And I am sure you feel the same way.

It’s fake success. The type of success that breeds inauthentic behaviour.

Because when you feel like this you must tell everyone that life is great. When you know its not.

Be more authentic. Be happy.

It’s not easy to be your true self.

“The nail that sticks out gets hammered in”

Bucking the cultural norm is inevitable if you want to be yourself.

And that leads to confusion from your peers. As they fail to see the bigger picture.

I quit my boring engineering job to move abroad and work in sport.

And everyone thought I was nuts.

But for me it would have been crazy to stay. Not following my dreams would have killed my spirit.

I had to explore the world. And pursue my passions.

But you do not need to do something so extreme.

Or maybe you do.

But one thing is clear to me. A lifetime doing things you are not passionate about to impress society is not the definition of success.

How to Start Being Authentic

Here are the benefits of being authentic:

  • Work in a job you are passionate about.
  • Do the things you want to do. Rather than following others.
  • Stop buying stuff you don’t need.
  • Have more energy. Being fake is exhausting.
  • Spend less time posting on Instagram. And more time enjoying the moment.

That’s why spending a day in the office is more tiring than working from home.

You need to put on a show all day. Fake smiles and small talk. And that’s exhausting.

I know that changing my life has brought about immense joy. And it will be the same for you.

But changing your life takes action. And there is no time like the present.

I’m going to share the steps I took.

Use them to analyse if you’re living life to impress others. And learn how to be more authentic.

1) Stop the unnecessary purchases

Do you actually like the stuff you buy?

Do you love expensive cars? Or are you only driving it for the badge?

The best way to start being authentic is to stop buying stuff to impress other people.

Nobody cares what you drive or wear. And if they like you because of your stuff – are those the friends you want anyway?

These unnecessary purchases also stretch your finances. And crush your financial freedom.

Buy stuff that you truly want. That’s real authenticity.

2) Change your social media behaviour

How many times have you gone to a restaurant and spent most of the time taking photos of your food?

Do you think your followers actually care about the quality of your meal? They don’t.

And secretly you know that. Because you are doing it to impress them.

We’ve all done it. So don’t feel embarrassed.

But shining a light on it is the first step towards change.

Start enjoying the taste of the meal. Rather than using is as a way to make people jealous.

3) Work towards a job you’re passionate about

Maybe you love your job and it’s your life’s passion. If that’s the case, skip this point.

But chances are you are working only for money. Most people are.

I know this message is tough to hear. But I say this from a place of compassion.

I want you to wake up on Monday morning with an authentic smile.

We spend so much of our life at work. And that time is spent being fake unless we do something we love.

You were born with talents you need to express. And interests you should pursue.

Start building up a business on the side. Or switch your career if you have the chance.

4) Stop caring what other people think

Caring about what people think stops when you have high self-esteem. And you are comfortable with who you are and what you are going.

You are secure in yourself. And you no longer need to impress others.

This means you stop caring what they think.

You are now your authentic self. You are not being fake to impress anyone.

This is a more sustainable way of living. Making the impact on the world you were born to make.

Good luck on your journey.

You must get out of your comfort zone. But it’s worth it.

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Mindset
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