When I was 20 years old, I decided to join the gym.
I found a gym on Google Maps, and drove to the location.
But when I pulled into the parking lot, I couldn’t bring myself to go inside.
I was too anxious. So I turned the car around and drove home.
When I arrived home, I didn’t know what to do. So I called a mentor for advice.
Fortunately, he said something that changed the course of my existence:
“James, you’re only anxious because you’re thinking about yourself. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Nobody really cares about you, they’re too busy caring about themselves.”
At the time it sounded harsh. But it’s exactly what I needed to hear.
Because it made me realise something:
“When I’m anxious, I’m thinking about myself”
- Do I look/sound stupid?
- What will they think of me?
- How will this impact my life?
- What if I do something embarrassing?
This mindset crushes your soul. Destroys your business. It makes life intolerable.
It’s a fear that seeps into every aspect of life. It stopped me from doing the things I wanted to do:
- Post content online
- Go to athletic events
- Give my real opinions
- Go to networking events
- Live a life without regrets
But I finally realized that anxiety is a selfish feeling.
I realised nobody gives a sh*t anyway:
- Nobody really cares
- Nobody’s watching
- Nobody’s laughing
- Nobody’s listening
Because they’re living their own lives. They’re not thinking about you.
So instead of worrying about them, I started doing stuff for myself.
I put myself out there to see what happened:
- Built a new business
- Joined social groups
- Started posting content
- Wrote opinionated emails
And guess what? The silence was deafening.
It turns out people don’t care as much as you think.
The fear is all in your head. It’s holding you back for no reason.
So what’s the secret to overcoming anxiety?
It’s to stop thinking you’re so important. It’s to stop thinking every little thing in your life is so important.
Most things are insignificant. They don’t matter in the grand scheme of life. And nobody will care next week anyway.
That’s what worked for me. I hope it works for you.
